That one word says it all! I have not been well lately, in a flare, and now my back has gone out too! I have to rant about it here though, since my family has seen fit to tell me to quit talking about the pain and buck up and get over it. Hence, the other reason for the one word title.

Apparently, discussing your pain and feelings about it is not allowed. You have to emit sunshine and rainbows and keep the other things in hiding, behind a smile to pretend all is well.  Basically, it means that they are sick and tired of hearing about the issues I am having. If they think they are sick and tired, how do they think I feel? I guess that it is a moot point.

So, like the good little wife and mother I am, I will trudge  ahead, doing my work and not uttering a sound of dissent, or even resting up. In the end, I guess I can relax when I am dead. Yes, this is a pity party in a way, however, it is also a sad fact that those of us with chronic diseases deal with a lot. No one wants to hear about our struggles. No one wants to hear our pain. No one wants to deal with the issues. We are forced to smile and pretend and then we get sicker, because we are trying to push it all back and in the end, it always comes back and gets us. So, the moral of this story is, I will trudge forward, but when I am flat on my back, do not expect me to jump up and continue, because it is the aftermath of the trudging I did when we were all pretending that nothing is wrong.

It is a sad commentary on those of us with lupus or other chronic diseases  when we face this type of behavior in the world, yet we expect a warm environment at home and sometimes, we do not get it. I am thankful today, that I have this blog where I can vent and rant against this type of thing, and hopefully share with others who suffer the same types of problems. In this healthy way, I can get it out and let it go.

Thanks for letting me vent…


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