Pendulum

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The title suggests an object in a clock that swings back and forth, from one side to another in perpetual motion. In other ways, a pendulum can mean going from one extreme to another, like from a democrat to a republican…lol. Perpetual motion is a good thing because we are always moving forward. We should not look back much excpet to learn from the past and use that knowledge to not repeat the mistakes in the future.

I say those words but I still do it every time! I have had an amazing few days of feeling wonderful and yet, in the back of my mind it is like I am waiting for that pendulum to swing back to the dark side, the painful side. It did that this morning. I awoke to pain and a deep aching in my joints. I know the weather has been warmer here but my body has not adjusted quite yet.

This is rotten. The wolf gives me a couple of days to feel alive and happy and joyful and then I wake up and the pain is so overwhelming that I cry before I get out of bed. I hurt. Enough said.

I did have a great few days for my good days though. I spent time with some of my grands and we had a blast! I got out of the house and went to the drive through. I went to the doctor. It felt good to get out and about. Ah, the sweet feel of fresh air on your face, warm sunshine, and different scenery does wonders for the soul.

I felt great! Times were good. Nothing was going ot keep me down! Full speed ahead!

Enter the BBW (big bad wolf, or lupus). His intentions were to show me that I was foolish for thinking I was better. He has knocked me on to my touchas and landed me back in bed. I hurt. Like the song Johnny Cash sang. Pain. The kind that makes you curl up in a ball in bed and cry. No, I am not being dramatic, it is like that.

So, this round goes to the bbw, but I refuse to let him win the war. I will continue to fight, take these evil meds that make me sick but hurt him worse, I will keep plugging along making my way until he leaves me alone.

My legacy will be (I hope) that people will say I may have had this disease but I never gave up hope. I fought it. I wanted to live. I smiled through pain. I made others aware. I taught others to empathize and care. I had a rich life because I made it rich with love. See? Wolfie may have me down today but my mind is thinking positively. Ha ha!!!! The joke is on him!!! I am surrounded by rich blessings no matter what he does to my body! Thank you wolfie because you made me stop and see those blessings that others sometimes overlook in their busy hectic lives. Not so bad after all…

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