Today had an auspicious start for me. If you have lupus you will understand this. I could not get out of bed. I made it to the bathroom and barely made it back to bed. Sounds ridiculous? It is my reality some days and this was one of them. I ended up sleeping until noon. I made myself get up and into my chair before my granddaughter got here. I don’t want the grandkids to worry about their meemaw so I pasted on my smiling face and pretended I was fine. After she left, I basically collapsed into my chair and have been here ever since. Yes, I get up to do some things but I tell you, this fatigue is for the birds. Have you ever been walking in sand and find you struggle with energy? Imagine that you are on a beautiful beach and in order to walk, you have to sink in a few inches into the sand and then you can walk. Well, that would be easy compared to how I feel today.
I knew I might have the rebound effect from the busy week I had last week. I know the signs, I had them all, and yet I push it out of my mind thinking that this time it will not happen. WRONG. It has happened and while I can pretend for a short time, the reality is that we did not get to the camper tonight (as planned) and instead we are home and while hubs sleeps, I am awake, in part due to the sleeping earlier in the day and in part due to the pain and other associated issues that come when I over do it.
So, this is my venting for today. I know there are those who think I should not discuss the incidentals of my life and how the disease affects me. However, I find it helps me to pour it out on here and then I can relax more and go about the business of life. If that offends some people, then you do not have to read it. For me, it releases the stress and brings a sort of peace. For that, I am grateful.
- What to Expect From Life With Systemic Lupus (everydayhealth.com)