A Dream For Me


They say a dream is a wish your heart makes. I think that is true. I have one dream that is so far out of reach for me that it will never come true. How sad is that? Would you like to know what it is? Ok, I would love to have my grandchildren in the philippines come over here to live and actually get to see them and touch them and hug them and hold them. I mean, the baby is now 6 and I have never got to hold her in any way.

Sure, I send pictures and talk on the phone to them. I send cards and gifts too. Somehow, that is not the same thing as them being here. 

Why is this impossible for the dream to happen? Let me explain. My son is married to a sweet person named Marie. She is a filipina. They got married while he was in Korea in the army. He then went to Iraq and came home. By himself. He did not get them over here when he had the chance. Why? He decided that he did not want to be married anymore. Just like that. In the meantime, my grandbaby was born. In the Philippines. Now, she is considered a US citizen, once her mother takes her to Manila and registers her. Sounds easy but they live several islands away and it will take a day to get there and a day to get back. 

This is not the only obstacle we face. My son has no interest in the well being of his family. He only grudgingly gives them $20 every few weeks. Anyway, he will not pursue getting them over here. The reason? He has had several other girlfriends and has produced another child since his marriage. So if I want them over here, then it is up to me to do this. Can I do this? Nope. For starters, the new “Patriot Act” involves tons of paperwork and documentation just to get them visas and other papers for lawfully entering this country. This paperwork also includes around $1,000 in fees associated with it. In other words, just to do the paperwork alone it will be $1,000. 

Next, if I had all the necessary paperwork done and paid for, the next step is immunizations for them and airline tickets. Have you priced airline tickets lately? For the four of them to travel here, it will cost around $1500 each. That means $6,000!  Oh yeah, and their passports are not included in this fee. 

Once they arrived, we would have to register them again, here, to show they are here and how long they will be staying. My daughter-in-law and two older children would have a time limit of about 30 days, the baby would not because she is a citizen. At the end of the thirty days, the mother and two older kids would have to either go back or re-register once again. More money, more legal red tape. 

Seriously, this is what it would take. Considering I am retired on disability and live month to month, I cannot do this. I wish I could. It is my dream to see them all here and hug them close and let them know they are loved by us. Sadly, this dream is not going to happen and it will become the greatest disappointment in my life. I love my grandchildren with my whole soul. It will have to be enough I guess. Nothing will change. Except my heart, which has this big hole in it waiting for the rest of my family to fill it in. 

See? I can understand why people come illegally into this country. It is far cheaper and less stress. Just my thoughts. Toodles!

One thought on “A Dream For Me

  1. It’s hard to click”like” on your post but as a grandmother and one who like you has a chronic illness that effects the whole of our lives I can say I truly do understand.
    And my heart breaks for you.

    My oldest and only granddaughter was born in Japan. I was not invited to visit, although my son -in-law’s mom and grand mom were.
    I was bitterly disappointed.
    Today that granddaughter is 18 and because of inter family politics has made the choice even though just 120 miles away not see myself and her grandfather.
    I am bitterly disappointed.
    This is not what I expected my grand parenting years to be like when I was a little girl dreaming. And I wanted to be a grandmother before I ever understood that I needed to be a parent first.
    Little girls dreams.

    My heart breaks for you, another grandparent who is thrown away. The loss is ours for sure, but the ultimate loss is to the grandchildren, and to our community, our world.

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