You know how you will think about something and romanticize it? Well, that is what I had been doing recently. I have been helping my hubs by giving him food, gas, and other things because I really want him to succeed in his sobriety.
I am trying to be a good person and not be vindictive. Yes, we are separated but it doesn’t mean we have to be hateful and ugly with each other. Unfortunately, this equation seems to be one sided. Yesterday he came down to pick up a few things and proceeded to get into my fridge and get some beers out. When I said something about it, I was told that it was my fault because I live away from him now and since I am not there to enforce the rules, then he can do whatever he wants. He also said that he is getting used to living alone and if I stay away much longer it will be harder for him to live with me again.
Look, a grown man should be able to make his own rules and enforce them by following them. I do here in my own house. However, it seems he is intent on blaming everything on me and not taking responsibility for his own actions. The kicker is when he said “when you come back home”. He is being assumptive here. Yes, I have entertained the idea, but thanks to his showing his true colors, I have decided against it.
In other words, nothing has changed. He keeps wanting to play his manipulative games and he is so assured that I am coming back (albeit in his own mind) he sees no reason for change. In his eyes, he is the wronged person and I am the one who did it to him.
In essence, he is still like a child and wanting someone to enable him. Well, it will not be me! I am really feeling the peace I have needed for a long time, now that I am living on my own. I think that I should thank him for showing me the truth of the situation and opening my eyes to the truth so I can quit waxing nostalgic and deluding myself into thinking that it will work out this time. It will not, and sadly, he doesn’t realize what he did to show me the truth.