I’m Back!!!


Well hello one and all! I am back after that brief hiatus. I basically had to wait until I got my internet fixed. It is hard, although not impossible, to blog from my phone. I have done it, but I don’t have to like  it…lol.

On to other topics now. First is my latest neurologist appointment. It was not good news. My lupus is attacking the neurons in my brain and causing me to have neuropathy that has spread quite a bit. So much so that I was advised to use a cane while walking now. I was also told to wear shoes at all times. The cane I do not mind so much because I have had to use it before. The shoes are an altogether different story.

You see, I am a barefoot loving country girl. In summer, spring and fall I hardly ever wear shoes at all! I wear footies around the house if I wear anyhting. Well, now that I think about it, the same goes for winter too. The only exception is when I have to go out in winter and for that, yes, I do wear shoes.  (DUH!) You could say I am a natural footwear girl.

This having to wear shoes thing, although a necessity now, is also a fundamental slap to the way I live!! I hate shoes! They are torture devices for my feet. Now, as a result of this change in my body, I am forced to wear the things I detest. I know, I should just be grateful that I am alive but to me, this is not a good thing.

Also, we discussed the continued spread of the neuropathy and what would occur and the changes in my life that it would bring. Basically, my neuropathy cannot be contained like in diabetes, because the lupus is what is attacking my neurons in my brain so the disease is in the drivers seat on this one. That is bad news. I was also informed that if this continued its path, I would be in a wheelchair because the numbness will necessitate it due to balance and coordination issues. Let’s not even discuss the injury subject. Suffice to say that I want to keep all my parts and not need any removed.

I have waited a week to put this out here because I have had a lot of information to digest.  I have had to mourn the loss pf sensation and its rapid spread. I have mourned the potential loss pf my mobility. I have had to realize that lupus is in control on this thing and I am a mere pawn in its path.  Not pretty is it?

I am in process of finally getting unpacked in my new little home.  I can see the end in sight. I can finally relax a little and actually enjoy the peace and quiet. No guilt trips, no manipulations, no temper tantrums, no ugliness (other than me that is). Ahhhhhh, home sweet home at last!

Oh, I forgot, I also am having an EEG of my face and an MRI of my neck to rule out any organic cause for my parasthesia in my face.  What fun! I have more to report but will save it for another day. Hope you are all healthy and well. Keep your feet on the ground and your head in the clouds!