EGD day

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On way home now. Nap sounds good. Made Aaron mad because I asked him to just be quiet. He kept talking about stuff I really didn’t want to hear about despite numerous requests (nicely) to not chatter on. Before a procedure I like to quietly relax. Must have been too much to ask because during my prayer he poked me to talk and when I told him I was praying he stormed out. Ok, I did say sarcastically ” hold on a minute Jehovah” but gosh, he would not shut up!! In the car on the way home I tried to chat but he informed me, quite petulantly, that since i wanted quiet he was not speaking to me at all. So, yay me. Not only did I have to have this procedure, I have to deal with petty anger because I needed to relax prior to my procedure. Now we are home so I am sure I must pay for my behavior. Note to self, next time ask mom to take me.

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4 thoughts on “EGD day

  1. Mary

    Wow! Hope you did well with ths procedure.I had a EGD Aprl 1 and they pulled the tube out to fast and gastric juices got into my lungs-I then got Aspirated Pneumona as a result. Somethng a Lupie does not need. Maybe your Husband was nervous in someway for you to have this procedure done and you know how sometimes nerves bring out the Yakety-yaks. As a fellow Lupie I always read your blogs when you send them out.

    • Thanks so much Mary. I have really bad reflux and the doctor needed to see how it looked before surgery. I have aspirated acid before too. It sucks. As a lupus patient these things do sometimes make it easier for us to get sick. We just have to be more careful. Thanks for the kind words. As for my hubby, he is still not talking to me. I’m getting the silent treatment. Oh well. Thanks for reading! I love it when people participate by leaving comments. I haven’t posted a lot lately but hope to remedy that soon.

  2. Kelly

    My husband used to be the same way. In fact I used to wonder if he was the reason I was sick in the first place…. And wondering if staying with him was KEEPING me sick. I finally had to decide that if he could not stop treating me in ways I found unacceptable that I would withdraw completely from our relationship and leave him somehow someway (even if I was unemployable and useless…I would do whatever it took to get away from his negative energy) This worked for a while, I did it quite a few times. Mostly I slept on the couch a lot or just went out when he was in our went into a different room. We got some counseling….not much but what we got was incredibly helpful.
    One of his big things was getting mad when I was making us late for something. He would pout and then rant, I would cry, it always made me WAY SLOWER so I could never quite figure out what he thought he was accomplishing. Finally my solution became clear. I could not and would not allow this to continue. Every trip every vacation was ruined before it started. At first I thought it WAS my fault. Then I didn’t want to spoil things for the kids or make his relatives hate me. But eventually I had it. First comment out of his mouth and my reply was basically ” you can chose to behave however you like BUT IF you upset me anymore I AM NOT GOING TO GO ANYWHERE WITH YOU”. It didn’t matter if it was a weekend outing, a beach vacation, a family reunion or a PTA meeting or a kids soccer game. Of course this just made him rant more until he realized that as long as he was ranting I would STOP packing or whatever and sit down with my eyes shut and completely tune him out. Twice I actually did NOT go on a trip at all. A lot of times I would drive separately and let him explain why. Then he started to quietly stew in another room while I frantically tried to finish whatever so we could go. Then I either got the silent treatment or ranted at until I was hysterical. So a couple of times I waited until we got where we were going and I would leave, or go to take a nap for the entire trip or outing. I walked out of movies, restaurants, his office (back when I worked with him) and either walked home or called a friend or a taxi. Twice I refused to get in the car with him when it was time to leave to go back home, and he actually left me there. Once he came back after a couple hours, once I called my ex to come and get me. A few times I made him pull over to let me out of the car or got out when he stopped the car somewhere. He was never physically abusive, and he was not an alcoholic. I used to say he was an ” asshole-holic” because he would just randomly turn into a rude nasty a@@@@@@ for no reason I could ever figure out. And I realized it didn’t matter what I did or didn’t do or say….when he was in the mood there was no stopping it. I realized by taking it, I was giving him permission to treat me however he felt like. So I figured out how to take my power back. Even tho being stranded at a park or gas station doesn’t sound very powerful, it was to me. We still have our moments but now there is respect most of the time. Really thanks to prednisone, now I am usually the crazy ranter, but he is smart enough to walk away until I get over myself.
    I don’t know what the whole situation is like for you but sounds like you are just getting slammed when you need it least ( not like you EVER NEED to be treated badly right ?) and the only thing that will stop it is YOU. Again, not fair but ….. My dad used to always say ” if it doesn’t kill you it will make you stronger…” And I have found that it is about the best advice I ever got. Whatever life sends your way, figure out how it can make YOU better in some way shape or form. Well good luck. And I love your blog and all the great information you post and your sense of humor and irony…. Obviously you have an inner strength and use it to make the world better for the rest of us…. But never forget to take care of YOU and don’t take any @@@@ from someone who is supposed to be your friend, lover, spouse – whoever. You are a human being who deserves to be treated with AT LEAST the respect & decency that he would show to a complete stranger. That is my gauge on when a behavior becomes unacceptable.
    Sorry for going on such a long time….I can get carried away !

    • Wow! Thanks Kelly! I needed the encouragement!! It helps to get feedback and view it outside of myself. I have been sticking up for myself since I came back. Prednisone helps. Lol. We are on a reset right now because I am being more assertive and he is sober. Time will tell.

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