It’s Winter

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Well here I am again. Griping. Complaining. Hurting. Flaring.

This is one of my rants and scream kind of post. You have been warned.

The last four days have been rough. I am in so much pain. Everything hurts. I do mean everything. My joints are throbbing like crazy. My hair is still falling out. I am running a low grade fever. I feel like I am slogging uphill in sand up to my waist! It’s just hard to breathe even.

I called my doctor and I am on prednisone for a bit. The hair loss I am fighting by getting a new short hairdo. I am trying to live but find I am either in bed or the recliner. It makes it hard to function.

As for the “issue” of my husband, he is supposed to be going to Kentucky to visit his mom. He was supposed to leave today but decided not to. He hasn’t packed anything yet so I don’t expect him to go anytime soon. He enjoys smashing any peace I can find. Of course, it’s still daily belittling and bullying. If I rest he comes in and gripes about all the things I should be doing. However, if he feels sick, he does what he wants and heaven forbid I say anything. It’s a mess.

In the end, it just sucks lately. Pain. Flare. Life. Hope you all are pain free!!

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4 thoughts on “It’s Winter

  1. furbydoll

    When I read this post, it was like reading an entry out of my journal. I was recently diagnosed with lupus, but many symptoms lurked for over a year before making an appointment with my doctor. I attributed my symptoms to different things, like working too much overtime, or “it’s that time of the month”. Sometimes I think my family thinks I’m crazy or making things up, but now I see I’m not alone. This evening, I just sat on my couch and cried, waiting for the Tylenol 3 to kick in. I don’t even know why I take it- I’m desperate for some relief, and I hope just one time that it will work, even if for a few hours. On the outside, I look fine; my husband and children don’t get it. It takes months to see the rheumatologist, and I am currently on a short-term disability in the meantime. I thank you for setting up this site, and I hope to create a few friendships as well as cope with this disease.

    • Thank you furbydoll. I set this blog up to put a voice to my feelings about lupus. I know the feeling of loneliness and frustration. I hope you read more of the blog and sit down and learn more. I found learning all I can gives me power of knowledge and knowing makes me feel like I can tackle anything. Jump in and join in the conversations. Make yourself at home and thank you for joining our little group.

  2. I know exactly how you feel, I’m sorry you go through this. My husband and I had a conversation about this about 10 days age, he said I will see a difference in him, well I haven’t so far. There are 2 big totes sitting right out side the bedroom door. He walks around them and even touches them and not once did he ask if I needed some help with them. He knows I’m trying to clear out the spare bedroom but never does he offer any assistance. I can’t even get a thank you from him when I do his laundry, when making dinner he just sits there and stares at me (starting to creep me out) I dint like being stared at. Any way just to let you know you are not alone, sending love and gentle hugs for a better day!<3

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