I am sorry for the absence lately but I have good reason for not being around. I have been quite sick lately. Sick emotionally and physically. Not good at all. I have had deep depression and stress like you would not believe. WARNING: This post has many negative things in it. Read it at your own risk.
First, our furnace went out. We are making it because we have supplemental heaters we are using and ifit gets very bad, we can sleep in our heated garage. Next, we found out we have to move. Our home we live in is being foreclosed and we are unsure of where we will live because of this. We don’t even know how long we can stay once foreclosure begins. Its not our house so we are only involved in the length of time before we have to be out.
The next thing upsetting me is my husband. He is binge drinking for days on end, then sobering up for three days only to begin again. I am avoiding him/as/much as I can because I tend to be his target of choice when he wants to get aggressive. He is also getting Ativan from someplace and the docs told him not to never take it again because he became addicted to it in the past. He says it helps him with his panic attacks. I say quit drinking and they will go away. I tell you, he will be dead soon if he continues.
My health has had several twists and turns too. I have had a weird type of thing happen recently. I was sitting in my recliner when I started to shake uncontrollably. No reason for it. Just horrible shaking that lasted for a half hour or so. I could barely talk but I was aware of it the whole time it happened. I did not see the doctor or go to the er. If it happens again, I am to go to the er. Scary. It makes me wonder if the neurological manifestations are causing this from the lupus. I will find out when I see my neuro next month. Oh joy.
Finally, I saw my family doc because of a tooth that broke off and became abcessed. I am on amoxicillin to control the abcess until can find a dentist who will not take all my money to pull it. You know, dental health is just as important as body health. Why can we not go to a dentist when we have no insurance? I called the dental school and asked about going there. It was going to cost me over two hundred dollars just to walk through the door. I cannot afford that. In this area there are not any dentists who take those without insurance. It is sad that dental health suffers because of this disparity. Why doesn’t someone get on that bandwagon? I mean, forget Obama care, get dental coverage for everyone regardless of income. Real dental health.
So now I am down to the final things going on. I may have aspirated the other morning when I woke up vomiting. I now have congestion in my lungs and my doc wants a chest x-ray to make sure nothing is going on. I will get it tomorrow because going to his office today just plain wore me out. Oh and I did not mention the migraines I have had because of all these weather changes.
So, it has not been good around here lately. Here’s to hoping things get better in the days ahead. I just cannot take much more. My favorite scripture is 1 Corinthians 10:13. Please look it up. It truly does give me strength to endure and hope for what lies ahead. I hope your days are filled with laughter and love. This post has not been pretty, but it is truthful.